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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

"Harry Potter" According To People Who've Never Read The Books

No, Alohomora doesn’t mean “hello” and “goodbye” in Hawaii.

Describe what you think Harry Potter is about in one paragraph.

Describe what you think Harry Potter is about in one paragraph.

"Harry Potter is a boy wizard who people want to kill and he's in love with a girl wizard but the red-headed boy wizard keeps cockblocking and Harry is like 'wtf bro.' So Harry goes through life fighting all these monsters and the whole time he's still trying to wife up the girl wizard."

"A boy with a magic scar on his head continually saves his kind without complaining or taking a nap."

"It's about this self-obsessed boy with a unique scar who's all like "omg woe is me, I'm so different and special and my family sucks" and then an owl tells him he's a wizard, which validates everything. Then he has to go to this wack boarding school where all the other kids are just as crazy so he can figure out his life. He's also always being chased with a guy who has no nose and Hermione is constantly friendzoning him. I don't think he ever figures his shit out."

"A teenager gets sent to a magic boarding school, gets a scar on his forehead, plays something called Quidditch, and that's the extent of what I've overheard."

"A story about a kid magician that somehow managed to become bigger than Star Wars with the young ones."

"A fairy tale about kids running around casting spells all day, fighting weird-looking creatures becoming wizards so they don't have to pay back tuition."

"Harry Potter is about a boy wizard who couldn't be killed by Voldemort and he must protect the magical world from Voldemort's ongoing evil."

"It's about a kid who ruins school for all his fellow students every damn year."

Correct answer: Harry Potter is about a boy who must overcome many obstacles to defeat the dark wizard named Lord Voldemort.

Warner Bros.

Who is this character and how did he get the scar on his forehead?

Who is this character and how did he get the scar on his forehead?

"That's Harry Potter and he got it from a lightning bolt that another hating-ass wizard threw at him."

"That's Harry; I think he got that scar when Voldemort kicked him in the head or something when he was a baby."

"Harry Potter. He got the scar from a lightning bolt straight to the forehead."

"That's Harry Potter! He got the scar when Voldemort tried to kill him as a baby. Fun fact: It's not actually in the shape of a lightning bolt — it's in the shape you make with your wand when you use the killing spell."

"That is Harry Potter; he is pretending to be Jem from Jem and the Holograms because he heard the new movie is coming out soon."

"Harry Potter — and he probably got the scar from dicking around with magic."

"Classic running-into-a-table-as-a-child situation."

"This is Henry Parker and he probably got slammed into a locker."

Correct answer: This is Harry Potter, the main character of the books, and he got this scar after Lord Voldemort tried to kill him as a child. The spell backfired, leaving Potter with a lightning bolt scar.

Warner Bros.

What is the name of this majestic building?

What is the name of this majestic building?

"Pottermore Manor?"

"Alex's house."

"Hogwarts, which is magically hidden from the Muggle world. It's in Scotland, I think?"

"Baby North West's playroom."

"Hogfarts. JK. I know it's Hogwarts."

"Potterland."

"Harry's castle."

Correct answer: This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Warner Bros.


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